“You can’t suffer your way to success.”
“…And you can’t enjoy yourself on the way either.”
So, where does this lead us? What about suffering, grinding and banging our heads against the wall? Is this not success? Nope. When you have to work really hard every day and you feel miserable inside, you will quit eventually.
Ah, ok. So then I can just relax and do it effortlessly as if I don’t even care about it? Nope. If you don’t push yourself you will never get there.
I’m confused. So how do I push myself without suffering and how do I not enjoy myself if I don’t suffer?
That’s the right question.
The Zone Of Power
In this state your emotions are turned inside out. Instead of reacting to the outside world you react to the inside. You are not a guest in this world but a creator. You pause when you want to pause, you talk when you want to talk. You would take care of other people’s emotions if your own emotions wouldn’t shine so bright.
You feel free to do whatever you want, but then again – it doesn’t feel that difficult to you. That’s because you are so intensely yourself. You don’t need to be liked or loved in that state because… why would you? To feel better about yourself? Now, that’s just silly. You know that it’s a zero-sum game. Wanting to be liked is a very lonely part of this prison. You are free, so why settle for less? You are abrupt, direct, poetic, playful, intense and expressive. You listen if you want to listen, you walk if you want to walk.
You are not joyful and you don’t suffer. You are that spot in between the two. This is not you talking to your friends, this is you standing alone because you must stand alone from time to time. This is you being eternally thankful for what you are allowed to feel right now. This is you channeling your emotions.
This is not you running away or playing hide and seek. You are disconnecting yourself not from the world but from your dependence on the world. Like a baby leaving the womb, you leave your kind self to go play outside. You are born and you will die when you’re done. Then you will be born again.
Life is not this perfectly balanced thing that everybody agrees upon is best. Life is always breathing, in and out. The planets are turning, back and forth. It is life and death. Life is highly consistent in itself. What it has created outside of us is also found on the inside. This is not about a transformation into a higher state, this is duality.
The universe has not given us the capacity to enjoy life without giving us the capacity to enjoy death. Death of our minds, our egos, our life. We would be defective without it. Not able to live. Death would have no meaning to us so we wouldn’t see it when it hunts us down.
Every day we have to wake up even if we want to stay asleep and every night we have to go to bed even if we want to stay up. We have to shift, again and again. What does a planet think when it has to move into the dark part? “Oh crap, not there again…” Does it hesitate? Why would it.
Everybody has two modes. To ways of living. To leading mindsets. They don’t play well together that’s why we must shift. Dark and night don’t play well. Warm and cold don’t play well. If you mix them you get luke warm. Don’t be so boring. Be both. Shift.
It all starts with suppressing. When was the last time you expressed fear in your face body and emotions? What about joy? Disgust? How about anger…? Do you allow yourself to express contempt? When was the last time you actually looked surprised? What about sadness? According to Paul Ekman, these are the seven basic emotions that you can physically express in your face. That goes for you, the Dalai Lama and Adolf Hitler. You all have this spectrum of emotions. If you don’t express them regularly living your life, you are suppressing them. If you think you don’t have them, you are just running away.
To shift your state you must be open to all your emotions. What do you suppress? Is it anger? Is it disgust?…Or even joy? You have to look inside. Maybe you don’t allow yourself to express true joy because people might see it as a weakness. Maybe you don’t show anger because people might take offense.
Whatever it is, that’s your key. Whenever you feel confused, overwhelmed or anxious, jump into the emotion you try to keep hidden. Boil it up. For this, be alone. Don’t communicate until you have shifted. Move, bring it out. Don’t think. The emotions don’t target other people, they target you. Its fear against fear. Anger against anger. Joy against joy. Imagine taking a dog outside that has waited for you all day long. Take it for a stroll. This is your shift. Its sacred.
When you are there, you are free. You can come back as a different person. You can be who you never dared to be and not think twice about it.
Until you have to go to sleep, even if you don’t want to sleep.
We are humans. We must shift. Again and again.
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