What earns a man the love of a woman? To truly understand this we have to take a step back and look at how men and women have developed. Following natural selection, the women who showed behaviors beneficial to their survival were more likely to pass on their genes.
Obviously women are physically weaker than men. This makes them more vulnerable to their environment and in need of protection. Additionally, they bear children which puts them into a severely helpless state in unpredictable intervals. As a result, women would stay with the tribe and the men would go out to hunt and deal with adversity. This creates an interesting dynamic of women being used to wait for their men, not knowing if he comes back or not. She will also have to find another man quickly in case her man does not return at all.
The following exploration gets a little dark but it is my way of shedding light into the patterns I see in women. There is no judgment involved, my goal is only to understand.
There’s a deeper dynamic going on. What if the man she has chosen it’s not the most dominant man in the hierarchy? What if the group leader wants a specific woman and chooses her? Which woman will pass on her genes, the one who goes along with it and learns to enjoy it or the one who refuses and is excluded from the tribe?
As a result, women are very flexible in their relationships and have evolved to go with the flow. They are even used to resisting a guy they truly like to see if he has the power to overcome their resistance. They have learned to enjoy resisting. It is no secret that women have fantasies of being submissive and having a strong man sweep them off their feet. Proof can be found in 99% of all the romantic novels ever written.
This is not a coincidence. So with this resistive behavior ingrained in women, what earns a man a woman’s love? You can build a strong connection with a woman and get to know her deepest self. You tell her things about herself that even she didn’t know. She can think that you are amazing but this doesn’t mean a thing, it will not earn you her love.
The only way to earn a woman’s heart is through overcoming her resistance to sex. This has an evolutionary background. Firstly, she has come to enjoy her own resistance. Call it foreplay. Secondly, as soon as a man and a woman have sex, there is a possibility of her being pregnant. If they haven’t had sex there’s no way she could be pregnant and there’s no reason for her to feel love for a man. It’s would just be an unnecessary investment on her part.
So far, it sounds pretty dark but I’m afraid it becomes even darker. Let’s go further and ask this: When we look at a tribal society of up to 150 people and we have a very strong hierarchy of men who are in control then what happens when a powerful man physically forces himself on a woman?
Men have done it again and again. Every war comes with rape. Nobody has to tell men to do this, they do it willingly. It’s a man’s sexual aggression without any social restrictions. War is an extreme of course but it still shows the way a man’s raw sexuality looks like if it is not judged. It’s forceful, it’s penetrating and it doesn’t take no for an answer.
In society, women feel this pressure. They will not be raped but they will feel the relentless pursuit of men. When a man desires a woman and is relentless in his pursuit but the woman does not like him then what will happen? The woman can resist and fight him off or she can resist and give in. If she fights him off she might be alone and without any protection. Who of these women will pass on her genes?
Obviously, I am not talking about rape but about overcoming resistance through seduction. Foreplay, arousal and boldness. Women like it. They respond to it. How many women get turned on if a man asks them for permission? I’d be surprised if you can name one.
This is the darkest side of a woman’s sexuality. A woman will fall in love with the man who has sex with her. The man who is dominating. A woman might like another man and try to pursue him but in the end, she will stick with the man who seduces her. She might not like him in the beginning and maybe not even find him attractive at first but when she sleeps with him, chances are high that this will change.