How to Know What You Want

The Things That We Want – How to Find Out Who You Are

I believe that, if you were so inclined, you could learn all the lessons you need to learn in life on your own, without any help from books or techniques. All you would need to do is to follow a string of thought which connects you to the bigger picture. In the very center of this process are the things that we want. The things we react to and the things that we need. 

a) That Which You Desire

Pick the thing which you desire most. Why do you like it? Look at your answer and ask yourself if there aren’t other things for which the same answer was true but you do not desire them. E.g. You like someone because they are really funny. Can you think about anyone funnier? The answer is usually yes, so move on and find a better answer that pinpoints what makes the target of your desire actually special. This can take a long time until you find the core of what you desire but by asking why, you will get there.

b) Control Over Your Desire

Once you have realized what it is that you desire and you have distilled it to a very simple but impactful core, you will notice that the desire is found in the essence of the thing it is attached to but not in the thing itself. You will gain control because the target of your desire now becomes exchangeable and you have a clear view of the essence which you seek.

You now know what to look for. You do not seek the whole package but only a very specific part. You now have the control and the freedom to change your approach in interacting with your desire and becoming more efficient and selective. You can also become free of being subject to random complications attached to a specific target and can freely move on to the next one since you know how to identify the essence quickly. You now have control in randomness.

c) The Big Picture

The string of thought that’s leading you towards the essence will inevitably bring you to the realization that what you want is as random as your birth itself. You have been imprinted as a human, as a man, a woman, a personality type, someone who gains weight quickly, someone who builds muscle naturally and any type of character trait you can imagine. Some of these things you can change, some you cannot.

Some people are naturally better off in a long-term pair bond, some people see no value in that. If that’s who we are then no amount of self-development will be able to change that. Once we see the randomness in our desires and personal constitutions, we will realize the great void that is the universe we live in. I am not talking about a lack of certainty or a lack of meaning, I am talking about the fact that all you are and can become is limited by what you have been created as.

All the limitations you can break through in life and all the greatness you can achieve is only significant by human standards because we all share the same human limitations.

There is no way to escape this life and there is no way of reconciling our human flaws such as basing our very existence on emotions, requiring meaning for all that we do, a short life span and illogical neglect of setting priorities before we act.

In my opinion, the way to deal with this world is to reject the flaws which are part of being human as much as possible and to break out of any internal prison which we can identify.

To learn our lessons and to move on.

To achieve things in order to learn lessons but not to become a slave to the greatness they present in the eyes of other people. To become a being who can see the flaws in other people but who will only look at them in search of a personal lesson without changing or correcting others.

To value the life of a human as much as the life of an eagle or a fly. To not see more intelligence in one or the other is to apply the standards of the universe to ourselves.

To be a human on the outside but to be the embryo of something greater on the inside.

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